


and this love won’t last

by byeolbit



Series: love and every other complicated thing [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst without plot, M/M, i swore i would not write more here but here i am, open endings, tw for smoking and swearing, you get no closure and i get no closure and everyone suffers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolbit/pseuds/byeolbit
Summary: Hongbin and Taekwoon don’t name what this is nor do they dwell on what it could be.Alternatively, a set of vignettes on LeoBin's relationship that was briefly touched upon in lilac melancholy
Relationships: Jung Taekwoon | Leo/Lee Hongbin
Series: love and every other complicated thing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070369
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	and this love won’t last

**Author's Note:**

> You need to read part one for full context to this oneshot | [reading playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0bEBOXEE8Toml16Bv8Xnu7?si=F3Y_artTTc6k31D3Jx7e6Q)

"It's raining outside" Hongbin says, looking out the window. The heavy rain drops glide down the window and cast shadows on the floor. The world is dark grey and the shadows dance in the air and the reflection reminds Hongbin of tadpoles in muddy water. It’s not a romantic expression and Hongbin doesn’t understand people who love the rain or the snow or any other form of precipitation.

"It is" Taekwoon acknowledges. He stretches on the couch he has taken for himself and wraps his jacket around himself tightly. The hot chocolate Hongbin made him is too hot to drink at the moment so it sits next to him on the coffee table in companionable silence. Taekwoon no longer minds the lack of coasters because Hongbin doesn’t care much for the rings on the glass panel.

"I didn't take you to be the reading type" Taekwoon says, looking at a copy of _Sputnik Sweetheart_ that lies on the coffee table. It’s visible due to the currently empty, see through glass panel and Taekwoon wonders how he has missed seeing it before.

"I'm not" Hongbin says candidly. The book has been on his coffee table ever since Sanghyuk left it there two years ago. Or was it three? Hongbin doesn't remember. It has been a long time since he spoke to him. How is he now?

"Do you have more books?" Taekwoon asks, picking up the mug. It's hot and Taekwoon uses it to warm his fingers that have slowly turned to ice in the cold late winter evening.

"Just the one" Hongbin tells him. He doesn't feel it necessary to mention that he also has Sanghyuk's copy of T S Eliot's poems that he stole stashed away in a bottom of an old shoebox of memorabilia. It’s one he intends to keep shut for as long as he can.

Taekwoon picks the book up and settles down to read it. Hongbin knows he won't take very long. Taekwoon is a fast reader and he has seen him devour books, sitting by the cafe window, completely lost in the written word and lost to the world outside. Taekwoon treats reading as a solemn affair, giving all his attention to the author’s work and reading it critically but not stopping to express his opinion till he has read it from cover to cover.

It reminds Hongbin of the first time he saw Taekwoon two months ago. Hidden away in a nook barely visible to other patrons in the small cafe on the main road passing by the university. Wearing a tweed jacket on a shirt and trouser set that almost made Hongbin think he was a professor. Reading while tracing the rim of the empty coffee mug in front of him absentmindedly as the winter sun lit everything golden.

He looks over and thinks nothing has changed hence.

-

“It’s too cold outside” Taekwoon complains. He accidentally leans back and touches the cold metal railing of the fire escape they are sitting in and shivers strongly.

“Tough luck then” Hongbin says, huffing after he takes a long drag from the cigarette they share. “The landlord is dropping by later and if he catches the smell of smoke then I will be kicked out.”

“Why couldn’t we go out to some cafe that’s well lit and warm?” Taekwoon whines.

“Well I’m sorry that the grim morose view of a half lit street and the sound of my neighbours fighting or fucking or both is not enough for you Your Majesty” Hongbin teases.

“You’re too sassy.”

“And you love it. You’re the more pathetic one of the both of us for that.”

Taekwoon scoffs and folds his hands. Hongbin grins roguishly and just leans against the cold metal frame of the fire escape they are currently hiding in. Winter is still a few weeks ago and the temperature doesn’t bother him. 

Taekwoon on the other hand is wearing a thick sweater and he still shivers. He rubs his hands together and turns to look when one of the cars on the street below honks too loudly and someone yells and Hongbin thinks that his side profile is gorgeous despite the discomfort.

“Screw this. Let’s go back inside?” Taekwoon asks and Hongbin shrugs, putting the cigarette out. 

-

When Hongbin awakes from his nap, Taekwoon is still here. It has been a long evening and Hongbin has slept most of it away. An ill timed nap in the late evening that is sure to lead him to staying awake for the rest of the night.

He vaguely remembers Taekwoon showing up at his door and him letting him in, his eyes firmly shut throughout the process to not wake from the deep slumber. It feels like a fever dream on waking. But when Hongbin walks into his living room and sees Taekwoon, curled up on the couch and reading, he realizes that it really did happen.

“You’re awake” Taekwoon says softly.

“Yeah” Hongbin says, rubbing his eyes. He walks over to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water.

“Would you mind if I stayed the night?” Taekwoon asks and Hongbin stops.

Taekwoon doesn’t usually stay the night. In the six months he has known him, this is a boundary he never crosses. He doesn’t stay past a certain time on weeknights and he never drops by on the weekends. Yet here he is on a Friday night, asking to stay and Hongbin guesses there must be a first time for everything.

“No” he answers. He nods along with his words and Taekwoon relaxes, his shoulders relaxing visibly. “No, you can stay the night.”

-

  
  


_“Did I leave my Hemingway collection at your place?”_

_“Among many other things”_

_“I will drop by to collect them soon”_

_“Will you visit this Thursday night? I might be out with Wonshik then.”_

_“I’ll drop by on Saturday morning then”_

-

“What are you thinking of?” Taekwoon asks when he kisses Hongbin’s cheek. He cups his face and runs a finger on Hongbin’s lips. They are swollen and his hair is mussed and his eyes glitter as they always do and Taekwoon thinks that he has never looked prettier than after being thoroughly kissed.

“Nothing” Hongbin lies.

Taekwoon looks at him and Hongbin intertwines Taekwoon’s fingers with his own. He plays with the fingertips and avoids looking at Taekwoon and Taekwoon takes the hint.

“Kiss me again” Hongbin asks when the silence gets too heavy to bear.

He doesn’t tell Taekwoon of how he finds out that Taekwoon is married with a kid and how he shouldn’t be here with him when he has a family waiting for him back home. He shouldn’t be here with a broke man with nothing to offer him in return for the time they’ve spent together. He shouldn’t be here with a man lying to him about his motives. (Ironically, Taekwoon is the liar but Hongbin is the one who feels shitty about the entire affair)

He decides to be selfish because it is what he does best and he chooses to kiss Taekwoon deeply and let the illusion last a little longer. A video with static white noise on an old television that will soon stop working entirely plays in the background. It’s the first time they’ve kissed and it may be the last.

Taekwoon indulges him and kisses him like a man in need of an escape. He pins the hand Hongbin is holding down and locks their legs together to let him lie on top of his lover. It’s a proposal to run away from reality for a moment and Hongbin grabs the opportunity.

-

“I don’t know how I will stay away from you” Taekwoon confesses in a silent voice. Hongbin keeps his eyes shut and pretends he didn’t hear it. He pulls the blanket closer to himself because the day is colder than usual and makes his breathing seem even so that Taekwoon thinks he has fallen asleep.

Snow gently falls, descending through the air in a lazy zigzag pattern before hitting the ground and dissolving. It’s the first snow of the season and it is nearly a year since the two of them met, Hongbin thinks. 

It’s a miracle that the illusion has lasted this long. Whatever the passion that sparked between the two has since fizzled out and reduced to a game of chicken between who admits to their truth of diminished feelings first. Or what Hongbin assumes is diminished attraction. He can never quite tell what Taekwoon feels.

“I won’t be here for Christmas” Taekwoon tells him, when Hongbin finally opens his eyes. “I’m going to visit my family. My parents insisted and I couldn’t get out of it.”

“Oh” is all Hongbin says.

The evening sun shines through the snow clouds but the sunlight does nothing to help the chill in the air. They lay in bed, catching their breath and soaking in the afterglow. Taekwoon’s fingers are cold and Hongbin’s toes are practically ice now. He pulls them into the fold of the blanket and their knees brush. Taekwoon puts his leg around Hongbin’s and draws circles on the skin where his waist dips and gives way to the curve of his hips.

“I wanted to stay here instead” Taekwoon says wistfully.

“Then stay” is all Hongbin offers.

“It’s complicated” Taekwoon tells him.

“Then go” Hongbin says and turns over to the other side. There won’t be an explanation following up that phrase. He doesn’t expect any.

Taekwoon simply leans in and kisses his shoulder. Hongbin feels the hint of a sigh on his shoulder and curls up more. This love isn’t meant to last, he reminds himself. The warmth is ephemeral and will fade into the winter cold like all his relationships usually do.

-

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/starryfics1?s=09) | [Tumblr](https://vixxscifiwritings.tumblr.com) | [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/poojamk15)


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